Clint was...he didn't know what he was if he was honest with himself. The time in Arkham made him renounce his straight-dom when he finally just allowed his feelings for Phil to take over and guide him along that path. He could honestly stand there now and say he didn't care about the gender of his partner(s) as long as he felt comfortable around them. He felt comfortable around Phil. He felt comfortable around Bruce. But to put it lightly, everything that they had and the short, brief history that he had with Phil -- had only been because they were somewhere else. He wouldn't have acted on his feelings for Phil here, with SHIELD looming over them. He didn't act on those feelings and Phil died not knowing much deeply Clint cared for him. He actually died thinking Clint was still the mind-slave of their newest enemy but...still. When he feels Bruce squeeze his hand for a brief moment, it's all that's holding him from tipping over the edge of insanity at the moment. He had Phil there...but without that knowledge, Phil might as well have been on Mars.
Any sign of the affection he might have shown him would probably push him away. He didn't want that. Clint wouldn't be able to live with that.
"Fury...pretty much had us all fooled. He used your death to get the team together before Tasha knocked some sense back into me. Then I went on to be a badass and save the world. All by myself." Clint grinned cheekily, wanting to move even closer to Phil until he was physically attached to him. "Not so much as...formally quit as much as...I jus' couldn't deal with them anymore. They may or may not think 'm a rogue SHIELD agent right now." Which meant, he was. It also meant he had a target that grew on his back with every passing day. He knew if they ever got cornered getting Phil and Bruce off was going to be easy. They took Phil by force. Bruce just happened to be around, by coincidence usually. He'd figure out a way to explain what they probably saw on the cameras when it came to Clint directing the Hulk. But he would make it seem as Bruce was the hapless victim.
And then he would probably be never seen or heard from again. If it meant taking the bullet for them. He would. Every second, every moment of his life he would. "I dropped your sister a line, jus'...she wanted me to come over but that was before I left the helicarrier. I need to write her a long letter apologizing for not coming over." I missed you so much, Phil. and I love you. were lingering on after every sentence. Again, awkward. So he didn't say it.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-09-21 06:13 am (UTC)Any sign of the affection he might have shown him would probably push him away. He didn't want that. Clint wouldn't be able to live with that.
"Fury...pretty much had us all fooled. He used your death to get the team together before Tasha knocked some sense back into me. Then I went on to be a badass and save the world. All by myself." Clint grinned cheekily, wanting to move even closer to Phil until he was physically attached to him. "Not so much as...formally quit as much as...I jus' couldn't deal with them anymore. They may or may not think 'm a rogue SHIELD agent right now." Which meant, he was. It also meant he had a target that grew on his back with every passing day. He knew if they ever got cornered getting Phil and Bruce off was going to be easy. They took Phil by force. Bruce just happened to be around, by coincidence usually. He'd figure out a way to explain what they probably saw on the cameras when it came to Clint directing the Hulk. But he would make it seem as Bruce was the hapless victim.
And then he would probably be never seen or heard from again. If it meant taking the bullet for them. He would. Every second, every moment of his life he would. "I dropped your sister a line, jus'...she wanted me to come over but that was before I left the helicarrier. I need to write her a long letter apologizing for not coming over." I missed you so much, Phil. and I love you. were lingering on after every sentence. Again, awkward. So he didn't say it.