dead and gone and passed onteamdyson

[beenunmade]

He'd been in Canada for five months and he figured he was already making quite a name for himself.

Most of his clients, new "friends" (he used that term extremely lightly), etc knew him as Clint Coulson. His new alias, it wasn't something he would have liked. He was sure even if SHIELD decided to look into it, they would have figured out. But he knew someone would have done anything to throw them off the trail. To keep them from getting to him. He appreciated the silence from the SHIELD front even if he was always looking over his shoulder when he walked alone. Or looking around when he was in a crowded area. It was a force of habit that he had yet to break and he wasn't looking to break it anytime soon. There were things that he just couldn't forget or knock certain habits out. Mister Coulson was a workaholic it seemed. When he wasn't spending his time with Kenzi (or Bo with a parental guardian), he was working. He had to make money somehow. But at other times he would just accept under the table offers for his services. The place he lived in now was payment. The renovations that had to be made to the store front to make it livable was another payment. His motorcycle. His car. All payments for his services. It helped a little.

Sometimes he felt like a douchebag for being the type of person who would spy on spouses cheating on their loved ones. Other times, it was just like watching a mark only he didn't fire a weapon to put them out of their misery. When it wasn't being a private investigator, he was trolling Hale and Dyson and snatching their cases under their noses. Human or otherwise. He'd already made the mistake of snatching up one of Bo's cases and had to deal with the consequences. If he was honest with himself, Bo still terrified him a little. Not because he imagined her to be someone to take him in a fight. Clint could do that and just end the misery right there. The reason he had moved out was because he could not stand being in the house with her anymore when she had decided she was hungry and he was home while Kenzi was out. Typically, Clint wouldn't have minded being with a beautiful lady like Bo. But it came down to one simple fact that he couldn't deny. She'd overtaken his reason and willpower. Being consumed with lust was completely different from what Loki had made him do when he was under his control. But it had still been control he did not have.

Kenzi had rescued him. Kenzi always rescued him. She had come in mouth gaping when she saw the two of them on the sofa. Right before anything could have actually taken hold to make Clint want to just slice the succubus' throat after he had snapped out of it. But the damage was already done and Clint Barton was not impressed with Kenzi's best friend. But he would work with her because he wanted to help. He didn't want to be slighted because of his own personal issues.

Clint settled on his bike as he finally came to park in front of Trick's. It was still stupid o'clock in the morning, but there was still a thing with SHIELD agents who couldn't sleep alone. He had become an insomniac in the time he spent in Canada. A functioning insomniac but still an insomniac. He didn't dare call Kenzi and ask her to sleep over at his place. He thought it was borderline childish at that as he stepped into the bar, tucking his hands into his pockets as he settled at the bar and ordered a drink. At least when he was being an insomniac he could at least wander around the city pretending to be the superhero he once was as he had his bow strapped to his back. Someone had already made the mistake of mocking him about it and the incident had him banned from the bar for a week. The other guy never came back, surprise surprise. At this point it was all a security thing rather than anything else when it came to his bow as he listened listlessly to the chatter that went around him and taking out his cellphone just as...Bo sauntered in along with her posse. Something immediately seethed inside him until he caught the sight of Kenzi following along. Thank God, he immediately thought as he turned in the chair.

"I was jus' 'bout to strike up the Kenzi signal." Which was a picture of alcohol in a text message stating 'pls come make fun of me while I get drunk, gg'.

Comments

[beenunmade]

Typically, Clint would have stayed for the reaction.

For some reason, he didn't want to see the girl's reaction. It'd been five months and Phil's loss was still a deep wound. It'd been five months and he knew Phil was never, ever going to come back. He had learned to deal with loss because everyone he knew eventually went away. The fact of the matter was, even in Arkham -- he knew if he wasn't with Phil, he would be flirting Kenzi up every waking moment until she gave in. He knew Phil wouldn't have appreciated him mourning over him for even a minute. He still dreamt of him. He would always dream of him because SHIELD agents never got what they wanted. They never got the moments of peace they had. Or the moments of peace that Kenzi brought to Clint. It was understandable why he was drawn to her. Even when the doctors back in SHIELD got him to speak of Kenzi, they just assumed she was a method of coping for Clint. The one person out of everyone who he loved deeply. Even if they said she was imaginary. Fuck imaginary, Kenzi was real.

Clint wanted to show them desperately that Kenzi was real and return to his home (sometimes). Other times, he was just happy there. He was even happier when he got to hit up his informants on the news about new fae in the territory. Apparently the mesmer was sneaky, but not sneaky enough. Clint already had a trail and a list of potential people the guy was puppeting. Some of which were store owners on the street he lived on. Not good. He couldn't see a clear pattern as of yet but he knew he would eventually. Clint had gotten home an hour before Kenzi had shown up and was already at work. On the corkboard that had been left over by the previous shop owners was all the intel he had gathered so far. Fuck, he didn't need SHIELD. He was a force in and of himself as he stood in front of the board after thirty minutes of analyzing traffic cameras he had just 'stumbled' into on accident, flipping one of his katana in one hand. He didn't jump per say when someone pounded on the door before he went to answer it with a cup of coffee in his hand, brow arching as he looked on at Kenzi.

"...so what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Clint's in business mode. He missed it. Let him have business mode for a little bit longer Kenzi.

[onteamdyson]

Clint would get about three minutes of business mode. Just long enough for her to glare at him and push her way inside, letting the door shut behind her. No, not even three minutes. Because it took LESS than three minutes for her to just stare, expression softening from anger to confusion before melting into want and an inability to ignore it any longer.

Kenzi pushed up on her toes and kissed Clint a lot more urgently and way the hell more intensely than he'd kissed her at the bar. Coffee be damned. Glass store front be damned! She needed to know. Was this supposed to happen? Was it going to ruin everything?

When she pulled away, it was only to delivery a swift punch to the gut that Clint likely wouldn't even feel, but it still made her feel better. "What the hell was THAT? You can't just pull something like that and then LEAVE! Why the hell would you leave?! I was so freakin' confused and I don't even know what the hell is going on right now and you just acted like it was nothing! ... Oh my god... was it nothing? Did I totes just not even realizing that it wasn't even a thing?"

Possibly on the verge of hyperventilating here. Maybe she should have considered that before randomly making out with her best guy friend.

[beenunmade]

Clint would find that he didn't really miss business mode as much as he missed Kenzi mode. He watched the emotions play on her face as she tried to process what he had done in the bar before hastily making his exit stage right. The words were at the tip of his tongue what he could say that didn't sound like 'I was jealous of Hale' because that made him sound completely reasonable about the entire thing of course. But it didn't. Clint's words faltered the moment Kenzi pushed herself up on her toes to kiss him with way more emotion than he had before he had left the bar. Coffee and store front window be damned.

He kissed back. He would have brought his arms around her if she hadn't delivered a swift gut punch right after she broke the kiss as quickly as she began it. Tease. The situation spiraled soon after words started sputtering out of her mouth before reaching his hands up and framing her face with his hands. "Hey, hey, hey. It's a thing. Trust me. A good thing, I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't a thing, Kenz." He leaned in to press his lips against hers again, laughing a little in the small space between them. "I was jus' gettin' sick of fuckin' Hale's looks whenever he saw us together." Now he would have to deal with it a little more of those looks from Hale.

"I'm sorry...'m...I didn't really know how you would react to it."

[onteamdyson]

She's the tease? That's rich coming from the king of kissing and running.

Kenzi put her hands over his to keep them in place and rested her forehead against his, biting her lower lip. "Hale has a different fae-lady every week. He'll get over it."

Her friendship with Hale was still just a friendship. That's probably all it would ever be. He was a few hundred years older than her, versus the significantly smaller-by-comparison age gap between her and Clint. And Hale was fae. His family had been a huge problem when she'd pretended to be his girlfriend to save his ass. How would they react to them actually dating? No. That wasn't a thing.

This was.

"Idiot. The hell did I even tell you the first day you showed up at the crack shack?"

You know I love you, right?

[beenunmade]

If Clint knew that he could compare what Kenzi and Hale had to what he and Tasha had on some level. But he didn't so he just rolled with the fact that Kenzi didn't seem interested in the fae-dude that seemed to want to jump her bones every time Clint saw him. If Kenzi had been around every time Clint and Hale met up, she would probably notice the puffing of the chests and trying to intimidate one another subconsciously even when Kenzi wasn't even there. "I ha--I can't even say I have a different lady every week. My social life has gone downhill. It's a damn shame." All because he couldn't get passed Phil or Kenzi in his mind. He legitimately had tried. He didn't dare tell Kenzi the conversation he had with one chick just a week ago where the words 'it happens to everyone' was uttered before she gathered herself up and waltzed out the door.

Dyson got a good chuckle out of it when Clint was drowning himself with coffee the next morning though. Yeah, Kenzi wasn't ever going to find out about that. Ever.

Clint, honest to whatever holy thing there was, nuzzled her before giving a sharp laugh at that. "I love you too, Kenz." He loved Phil. But this was a different kind of love. Just as strong, just...different. Kenzi should know by now he never threw that word around without meaning it with every fiber in his being. "I didn't...can this be a thing? Cos I want it to be a thing." Cos she ruined all other women for him. Even Tasha. He didn't think that was possible considering who Natasha was to him and the meaning behind her existence in his life.

[onteamdyson]

Clint was different from any other guy she'd ever been with. Before she'd met Bo, when they were stuck at Arkham, and even afterwards. Guys were always tearing her down and taking chunks out of her self esteem. She always seemed to end up with the ones that were terrible for her or the ones that didn't think she could do anything. Even Loki had kept her at a distance and never really gave her what she needed. Clint had believed in her from day one. He'd always been there to fix any damage and he always had her back. No matter what.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again, pressing up against him. "It's totally a thing. Always has been."

Kenzi would have waited forever for Clint. Even if it had killed her a little bit every day to see him talking to other girls. Even if she'd thought for sure he would have gone after Bo until the incident. She just wanted him to be happy. Whatever he chose, she would have stood by it.

But he totally dropped the L word. Those other girls better back the fuck off now, or shit was gonna get violent.

[beenunmade]

There wasn't much that Kenzi could do then get the man's support. He had lived through some similar form of people telling him what he could and couldn't do. Of people treating him helplessly because he wasn't some powered up superhero that offering his support to someone who was in the same position as him was a necessity and pretty much the obvious choice to him. Being there for Kenzi was always going to be the obvious choice for him especially when she had been there for him. Even allowing him to go out onto the field with bruised ribs and a broken arm. If she had any doubts about his abilities, she would have never let him out there. But she let him go (he was healed, yay) and then everything just fit back into place for him. He just fit back into place.

"Oh, good good. I thought I was startin' to go insane, mixed signals 'n all that." Clint laughed a bit, a smile tugging on his lips as he held her up so she wouldn't have to tip-toe any longer. Let it never be said that Clint Barton was a terrible guy. He did small favors, he's not sure if they were good favors but they were small favors just the same. "Yanno, I gotta say 'm really glad you ain't a figment of my imagination, Kenz." He never admitted that he almost started believing the doctors at SHIELD that what he thought up wasn't real. That Arkham was just a coping mechanism and he was really at his breaking point. He didn't want to admit it. But he had.

[onteamdyson]

"If mixed signals are tripping you up, how about I make this as CLEAR as freakin' possible. Bedroom. Naked. Now. Was that mixed up even a little? Because I don't think I could unmix that any more than it already is."

Obvious choice is right. Even if he wasn't the gorgeous hunk of man meat that he was, they had a connection. It ran deep. This was just a natural progression. They had no secrets and he knew more about her than anyone else did. She felt safe with Clint. He'd never hurt her. She wasn't sure she deserved it, but like hell was she letting it go.

"Me, too. But even if I WAS a figment of your imagination, you'd have to be pretty damn awesome to think me up. So really you'd be winning either way. Crazy with the coolest brain ever or sane with the coolest... girlfriend ever."

Did she seriously just say that? The thought of commitment was giving her hives, but that's totally what it was. Since Arkham and for the last five months, she'd been totally committed. There was no one else Kenzi would rather spend practically every second with. Not that she wanted to jinx anything or freak him out!

[beenunmade]

Clint's brows shot up at that when he heard that as he took a couple steps back, pulling his shirt over his head. "I do take direction very well, jus' ask 'bout anyone." He tossed the shirt to the side before reaching out and pulling Kenzi closer to him, leaning in to kiss her with a smile on his face. "No mixed signals at all when you say it like that, Kenz. Jus' thought you should know that."

Their connection did run deep. Deeper than Clint would have like say but he did acknowledge whole-heartedly. There was honestly nothing in the world that would make him leave her side. Even if his friends came pounding on his door to take him back to New York, he would literally brush them away for Kenzi. Why? Compared to all that he did in lieu of just...standing on a building and watching the fight swirl below him. He thought he would make more of an impact with Kenzi. He felt happier with Kenzi.

"I dunno...'ve heard I make a pretty lame boyfriend. I can't cook with a shit. Ha--well, I always have money, nevermind. Commitment issues!" Clint pointed out as he slid his arms around her, grinning a little. "I have commitment issues. Somethin' 'bout I don't open up well eno--" Well that was pretty much going to be a none issue for them actually. Clint already talked to Kenzi about everything. Even how he was feeling. He didn't even have those discussions with Natasha and they had been partners for years. "Yeah, I got nothing that's gonna scare you off. Sorry 'bout that, guess you're stuck with me as a boyfriend, beautiful."

[onteamdyson]

The happiness was definitely a mutual thing. She wasn't sure she'd ever get used to kissing him, and she kind of hoped that she wouldn't. That way, she'd never take it for granted. And it wasn't like she hadn't thought about/dreamed of/wished for this before. Holy damn, it's really happening.

"No one else I'd rather be stuck with, circus boy." Her grin mimics his as her hands slide down his chest and grip his waist, tugging him towards the bedroom. "I've been putting up with your lame ass long enough to know how to deal with you. You're just as stuck."

She kisses him again, releasing her grip and moving in closer. Her mouth finds his jaw and then his neck as she trails her hands up his back. Holy freakin back muscles, batman. Why is he allowed to be so gorgeous and also wonderful and hilarious and beyond nice and always there for her-- clearly Clint cheats at life. No one can be that perfect. But he totally is.

"Goddamn. Just shut up and show me how good your aim is."