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[beenunmade]

Loyalty.

It was one of the many words that echoed in his mind. Usually it was loyalty to SHIELD. Loyalty to the Avengers. To Natasha. To Phil. He really only had simple loves in his life and things that could be easily pinpointed if someone were to look in the right direction. Even if he wasn't the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. But it was clear in his eyes and the way he carried himself around the others that this wasn't a temporary place for him. He intended to stay and he intended be (somewhat of) a team player. He wasn't chosen for his good looks, after all. Even if he did say so on something of a daily basis. It was all in jest.

He wasn't really in a jesting mood now. Loki hadn't exactly sent him on a mission. There wasn't a failure to utilize the specialist because, to Clint, Loki hardly failed. Acting on his own accord wasn't something Clint did. Acting in the best interest of ensuring Loki, ensuring that they gained some part of an upper hand was. SHIELD was still in shambles in his mind. The helicarrier was a good month or two from being passenger ready and most SHIELD agents had been forced to head for the solid ground of headquarters. Those surviving at least. The unfamiliar faces of new recruits littered the hallway. Out of necessity. There hadn't been a rush on getting more bodies -- the recruits that had been flagged previously but never seen the light of day were just finally getting their time to shine because SHIELD had lost so many. And Clint? When he wasn't usually running around terrorizing the junior agents or pushing the buttons of those that he knew -- he was either with the Avengers, in Medical, or on the range.

Today it wasn't any of those. His clouded blue eyes were shrouded by the sunglasses he hid behind almost daily. Somewhere along the way he had discovered that people found him slightly enigmatic when he was wearing them. After a visit to dictionary dot com; Clint had reasoned it was a good thing in his eyes. Now it was a benefit. He walked with purpose -- the technology he carried wasn't very astounding if somewhere were to compare it to the like that Stark carried. A single drive to save the documents he wanted so he could disappear undetected and offer what he found to Loki. Nothing extravagant. Just something simple. A show of his loyalty and obedience. Clint turned on his heels, around a corner and if someone paid attention it was almost as if he had disappeared. In reality, he had gone up the air ducts that he knew so well. Stealth was, after all, Clint Barton's forte as he moved above everyone before stopping above a room that housed a majority of the personnel files. One singular guard was easily knocked out and dragged off into a corner as Clint bound and gagged him before walking over to the computer interface.

Easy. The man slid his sunglasses to the top of his head as he brought up the files he needed, beginning the tedious upload onto the storage device before taking a step back. With part one in process, part two could begin. One storage device to house the information. Another to plop a virus in the middle of SHIELD's files. It wasn't Clint's typical approach. His approach would be blowing things up. But to do things covertly, without alerting SHIELD to his presence -- it required more espionage than Clint was accustomed too. Once the upload was finished, he just deposited the second part before sliding back on his shades once more before stepping into the hallway, pocketing the device and tossing the other in the hallway trash before starting to walk away.

Comments

[beenunmade]

The specialist had the intention to keep running, to make it to the door and keep on going. But of course, Phil wouldn't let him leave without him chasing after him. The younger man kept on his feet as he looked briefly over his shoulder just as Phil shot off the taser. The shot narrowly making it's target just as tried to speed around a corner. This time of his body tensing up with nerves, his muscles clenched as he ran straight into the wall. He huffed out a breath, biting back the pain as he reached his shaking arm to pull out the barbs that had been launched from Coulson's weapon.

It didn't lift the fog. Clint still moved to get to his feet before falling back on his knees. "Fuck..." That might be something Clint would have said as he attempted to use the wall as something to push himself up on. His head snapped in Coulson's direction before just pushing himself off the wall, barreling towards the other man.

[theshield_agent]

Clint really wasn't going anywhere without Phil chasing until Phil was unconscious or dead. It was how he did his job and right now his job was stopping Clint. At least the taser slowed him down enough that Phil could fully catch up. Running into a wall probably hurt, but getting shot would hurt more, so Phil wasn't exactly concerned.

Though it was actually a little concerning when maybe-not-Clint tried to get up and failed. "Clint?" He only had a fraction of a moment to react as the man was suddenly running at him, so he did the first thing that came to mind. He shifted his balance to the side and went in for a swift punch to the head. He just needed to keep this thing preoccupied until the guard watching the security cameras saw the fight.

[beenunmade]

He didn't let Phil's singular question get to him, even if it just caused Clint to fight the fog even more. Clint's teeth knocked in his skull when Coulson's fist hit the side of his head. Even if usually Clint would say his sunglasses were unable to be knocked from his head. They did the same, finally skittering across the ground as Clint's balanced swayed as he moved passed Coulson by him after being knocked in the head. The knock to the head was enough to cause Loki's hold to stray for a mere moment. He didn't exactly move to retaliate against the other agent as he tried to gain a more steady foot. It wasn't exactly what he had planned the moment he stepped into SHIELD headquarters but in the back of his mind, ignoring the steady voice that told him his orders. Told him his goal. This was the best course of action as Clint's eyes focused to the world around him once again before turning towards Phil, flexing his fists once again.

Moving into the air ducts with someone standing there was foolish. The fight was obviously around seen by security because he had heard the heavy footfalls of security echoing through the hallway. His clouded eyes studied Coulson with a sort of vacant disdain. It held more recognition than it did before. "Phil..." His balance was more unsteady then it had been before, but he still wanted to leave. It was all that was echoing through his mind.

[theshield_agent]

The moment that the glasses were knocked off, Phil finally saw what was happening. He'd known that it couldn't be Clint in the driver's seat in there if it was Clint and that was just he confirmation. He saw, for just a moment, Clint was almost Clint again and he remembered how Natasha had fixed it last time. Okay, a swift, hard knock to the head. Phil was strong, but Clint was stronger. He knew he was outmatched when it came to muscle and there wasn't much to knock him into even if Phil was confident that he could. That left one very painful, very bad idea.

Fast as lightning, Phil drew his sidearm as he closed in on Clint. He drew his hand back and pistol-whipped Clint in the head. He'd deal with the consequences later. A concussed Clint was better than a brainwashed one, that was for sure.

"Sorry." It wasn't his most sincere apology.

[beenunmade]

Phil acted faster than Clint reacted, needless to say.

But there was a purpose. There was a reason why Clint didn't move to guard himself. The electrocution, the hit to the head. All caused enough damage to give him a way to at least hold himself back a little. It wasn't like the first time when Tasha had been the one to slam his head against a metal railing. The sniper's arm moved a fraction of a second too late when he saw Phil's arm swing back before it collided with his head. The snap. A fumble. Some other football terms Clint never really paid attention too as he was knocked to the ground. His head was throbbing already the moment he tried to pick himself back up again. Remaining on all fours as the world spun around him. The voice commanding him to move forward, to fight, to kill Coulson was fading. But it was still there.

"Boss," Clint's voice came out rough. Almost unrecognizable to himself because it was him speaking. Not the thing that Loki had put back in him. Not the weapon. Clint tried to get back to his feet again before just dropping down and letting his head lay against the cold floor. Slowly drifting in and out of consciousness. "Phil."

[theshield_agent]

He actually winced himself as the barrel of the gun hit Clint's head. He was going to need a lot of ice and painkillers. He watched Clint go down, stepping back warily. The punch hadn't worked, but he hoped this was enough. Much more of a blow to the head and he might actually do serious damage to Clint.

As soon as Clint spoke, Phil knew it had worked. He knelt down next to Clint, arm going out to touch him. His hand settled on Clint's arm, squeezing. "I'm here. Stay with me." He kept his hand on Clint as he lowered himself to the ground. Clint was okay. He was here and he was okay and Phil was finally letting himself relax.

"I might have given you a concussion, so I need you to stay awake, Clint." Okay, he did feel a little bad about having to hit Clint so hard, but how else was he going to fix it? It was the only method that they could be sure of, since it worked earlier. "Come on. I've got to get you down to medical so they can take a look at you."

[beenunmade]

Clint wanted to do anything but stay conscious right at the moment. Luckily he had been one of those people who knew what it was like to have a concussion and the regular steps after having one inflicted upon you as he struggled to keep his eyes open. His eyes were still a bit clouded, the trickster's control receding slowly from him. He had been lucky. Tasha was no where near as warm as Phil was. The reassuring squeeze on his arm kept him there rather than fading into the black. His voice kept him focused on something that wasn't the drilling sensation behind his eyes as his hand squeezed into a fist as he tried to push himself back to his feet now. Moving to get to his feet so Coulson didn't have to amusingly try to get him up by himself.

"...might have?" He fought back a laugh that rattled through his entire body. "You...smacked a pistol against the side of my head, Coulson." Clint's smile tugged at his lips as he tried to keep his outward mood light-hearted. It happened again. At least no one was dead this time as he managed to roll himself into a sitting position, leaning back against the wall. "How 'bout medical just comes to me and I take a nap?" He leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at Coulson as the virus he had put into SHIELD's systems finally reached the part of the stupid computers (Clint never honestly paid attention to any of the technical stuff) and the lights began flickering on and off. Cameras slowly shutting off; one by one.

[theshield_agent]

Phil could see Clint coming back to himself more and more. It was a huge relief, even if he was still having to remind himself that Clint was okay now. He kept his grip on Clint tight as he moved around. The last thing Clint needed was to fall and hurt himself even more.

He moved to sit next to Clint against the wall. "Well, I wasn't going to let you leave. You've been entirely off the grid for days. I'm not losing you to some idiot who dresses like a teen-aged vampire again." He leaned forward to look at Clint's face, hand coming up to grip the agent's chin. "Let me see. I tried not to hit you too hard, but that punch wasn't enough. It had to be harder than that."

And then the lights started to go out. He looked up sharply, before turning back to Clint. He wasn't stupid. He could put two and two together here. "Do I need to take care of this or can the rest of them handle it? Because I'd rather not leave you alone like this. The last thing you need is brain damage."

[beenunmade]

Clint didn't try to hide the smile on his face. He had known the reason why...he had avoided Phil when he was under Loki's control was for the very reason that; Phil would know. "Teenaged vampire? I might save that somehow for later." Not that he would say it in Thor's presence. Tony could get away with insulting the lightening god's brother, but he did it just barely. Clint wasn't so sure about himself as the archer smirked, turning his head to look over at his handler. "At least you know when I act weird. No one else seemed to suspect anything, go figure." He moved his head up when Phil guided it up with his hand. "So the logical choice was a pistol? We need to figure out a better way to deal with this stuff." Not that he was thinking 'for the next time'. But Clint hadn't thought there was going to be another time the first time. The world was uncertain now and things happened every single day that made it so anything could spiral into something uncontrollable.

His eyes didn't leave Coulson's face when the other man looked up at the flickering lights. "You can go if you want too. I'm sure people will need someone with a level head managing the others, or Fury just might need it." He paused for a moment. He remembered what he had done. It was exactly like the last time. "But it's nothing too big. Computer virus. IT guys could take care of it under four hours." Meaning...yes they could live without you Phil. They'll just be running around like idiots for a little bit.

[theshield_agent]

Phil leaned it, looking right into Clint's eyes. "It was the only hard thing I could get my hands on. It's not like I can overpower you. I needed to take you by surprise." He turned Clint's head to check the impact point. "Of course I noticed you were acting weird. I never lose track of you for more than a few hours and even that's usually due to me not actually looking." But he was starting to think he might need to implant some kind of GPS tracker inside of Clint's body so that he can never do this to Phil again. Phil didn't care if it was his fault or not. Either way, he'd really been scared that Clint was dead somewhere. He wasn't letting that happen again, not outside of a mission at least.

"They'll be fine without me. Plenty of them can use the experience, anyway." He wasn't leaving Clint for anything short of the building would explode if they didn't stop it. He moved Clint's head back so that he could look into his eyes again. "I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner. I was looking, believe me. I noticed you were gone by the end of the first day." He couldn't have Clint thinking that he hadn't noticed. Even if no one else had seen him acting weird or noticed he was missing, Phil had seen it right away.

[beenunmade]

"You could've..." Slamming him against the wall would require more bodily strength then he knew Phil had. Not doubting his skills. Clint just knew he was stronger then him and Phil was still getting over the wounds he had endured from his encounter with Loki. "It's okay. I would've used it too...if I was in your shoes." He cracked a small grin as he allowed Phil to move his head to the side. It wasn't caved in, so he had that going for him. The skin was broken and bruising already. But Clint was thankful for it. "Guess I'm just lucky to have you around then, huh?" Clint was glad. Glad that the lie to bring the Avengers together was just that...a lie. Having Coulson around made everything bearable as slowly allowed his eyes to shut. Still awake...just, getting to the point where he knew he wouldn't be soon.

Clint laughed, still keeping his eyes shut as his breathing seemed to finally level out from the fight he and Phil had. "You couldn't have known unless you put a GPS in me or something." His eyes slowly cracked up, brow quirking up. "Which...if you do that I won't be as nice as I usually am. I appreciate my own space, sir." He knew just sitting there wasn't getting them anywhere before his head tilted in curiosity at the final statement.

"...didn't know my daily visits mattered that much, Coulson." The feeling in his chest was something that he hadn't felt in a while. It was...welcoming to say the least. The haze in his eyes had all but slipped away, but he could still feel Loki's presence there. Somewhere deep in his subconscious. It wasn't something he was particularly happy about as he just dropped his head on Phil's shoulder. "Maybe we should start up the Avengers buddy system. I'm getting kind of annoyed at being a puppet."

[theshield_agent]

He knew it was the only choice when he'd made it, but that didn't mean he'd enjoyed hurting Clint. Quite the opposite, really. He'd needed to do it and he had.

"If I put a GPS tracker in you, I would only activate it in situations like this. Alternately, I could just not let you out of my sight, but I think that will infringe on your space more." He was mostly joking, even if he wished he could put a GPS in Clint in case this ever happened again. Not that he planned to let it happen again.

He smiled, leaning his head against Clint's gently. "Who else is going to remind me to eat? I nearly starved without you here to bother me." He'd nearly starved worrying about Clint, but Clint didn't need to know that. Agent Hill had made sure he didn't actually starve, so it was okay. "We already have a buddy system. You stop bothering me and I notice you're gone and start looking for you." Even if during the first few days, everyone had thought he was crazy, he had known and he had been right.

"He's not getting you again. I'll kill him myself if I have to." Not that he knew how, but he'd find a way.

[beenunmade]

"When I don't show up for breakfast, lunch, dinner and nap time in your office?" His stomach churned a little. The sniper fighting the nauseated feeling that washed over him. Getting sick wasn't something he necessarily wanted to deal with before smiling a little. "I work for SHIELD. My space is already infringed. I don't think you'd be stepping over any boundaries that I have." He paused for a moment. He didn't think he had any boundaries. He did like when he could sneak away undetected sometimes. By anyone who wasn't Phil that was. Apparently if he was gone for twenty-four hours he put out a personal-issued amber alert with himself.

"Actually please don't do that, Phil."

Clint ignored the throbbing in his head, but if he had known that Maria had made sure Phil at least ate he'd have to give her a gift basket or something. Or not do anything to bother her for a while as he took in a deep breath. "Well, you beat the crap out of me. So I'm guessing you didn't starve. Good on you, boss." He started to laugh as his stomach took the shaking almost to a level up as he leaned forward, lifting his knees up and pressing his forehead against the top of them. "Just kill me the next time it happens, Phil."

[theshield_agent]

Phil rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to kill you." His hand slid over Clint's back to rest on his other shoulder. "I've see you beaten harder. Belarus comes to mind. You pulled through that and you'll pull through this just fine." It was more head trauma than anything now, anyway, and while he probably was sporting a concussion, Phil was pretty confident that Clint hadn't suffered any permanent damage at his hands.

"You can't stop by my office every day and then suddenly stop and expect me not to notice. Noticing things like that is what I do. It's how I keep you alive and if it carries over outside of the field, I'm not going to apologize for it, because you really were missing. I was right. If I hadn't noticed, you would have just walked out of here today and I don't know when I would have found you."

He sighed. "And I won't put a GPS chip in you, but only because someone else could find out the frequency and track you and that's my job." Clint was just lucky that Phil was so paranoid or the chip would be going in yesterday.

[beenunmade]

"Would you believe me if I said you were doing me a favor if I do?" He scowled, lifting his head up a bit and looking towards Coulson. He didn't want to think about past missions where he got his ass handed to him. At least he had one thing going for him...it was Phil who had done it to him. Clint used one hand to reach into his pocket, feeling a part of his mind feel like he was doing a disservice to something. He ran his finger along the storage disk before pulling his hand back. Leaving the storage device still in his pocket.

Clint grew silent for a brief moment. "You woulda probably found me when I blew up another SHIELD facility. If history likes repeating itself so much." He tried to crack a smile at that but really couldn't manage. He felt like he had doubly been injured. Both with whatever Phil had done and what Loki he had done. The archer almost wanted to lean into Phil, but if he got sick? He didn't want Coulson's impeccably clean suit to become the hapless victim.

"Lucky for me you're paranoid, huh?"

[theshield_agent]

"Then I'm going to be selfish and not do you that favor." Phil was never selfish, especially not when it came to work. He was allowed a few selfish things and if one of them was keeping Clint alive, Clint could just deal with that. Besides, he wasn't entirely sure that he could kill Clint, even if he was in horrible pain and dying. It was Clint. Phil tried not to think about it, but the idea of Clint not being around left a sinking, cold feeling in his stomach. He'd had to face that feeling head-on the last few days. It wasn't as if Clint's life was never in danger, but every scare felt a little worse.

He tightened his arm around Clint's shoulders. He really didn't care if Clint got sick on him. Dry cleaning existed for a reason. "I'm glad I found you before anyone got hurt, including you." Sure, Clint was a little hurt, but he wasn't shot or stabbed or dean. He was just banged up. It was a much better option than any of the others and now Phil had him back.

[beenunmade]

"Guess I should be glad that you're being selfish for once then, sir." Clint didn't want to die.

He just didn't want to be something used against the only people he knew, maybe even loved. A sentiment he didn't exactly express unless you looked into the undertones of his interactions. The fact that he didn't hide away in his "nest" away from the other Avengers. Or Phil for that matter. Coulson had initially been the first person in the entire world to ever recruit him for anything (that Clint accepted that was). It was the same for Clint in some matter. He'd be selfish in Coulson's shoes, but he had other tools if Coulson were ever the one to become a mind puppet for anyone. He wouldn't be able to shoot to kill, however. Phil...he had been the first person that Clint Barton had called friend and sincerely meant it.

He didn't want to dwell too much on the fact he would ask Phil, out of everyone even Tasha, to be the one to kill him. Even if he knew the other man would never do such a deed. Maybe that was why he would even consider asking him at all as he drew in a deep breath.

That seemed to be the tipping point his body. His breath shook off as the nausea finally got to him before he could really say anything else. He did make the attempt to make sure most of Phil wasn't left with an awesome story to tell Hill or Fury as he vomited to the side of the other man, dirtying Coulson's pants leg which was really the only victim in all of this right now as his body trembled from it. There was no relief from it. The only thing it did was slightly make his headache even worse then it already was. Concussions. Clint had to love them...not so much. Not really. "Fuck, Phil. Sorry..." It just made Clint kick himself a little more. After all, Coulson put up with a lot from the man. He had heard people joke around that Coulson was just a glorified babysitter and this was not helping the point Clint usually tried to argue against.

The sudden need to go to sleep was also something he was fighting but short of turning into a narcoleptic; Clint didn't see that happening in the foreseeable future as he slowly started to reason that perhaps the original destination of medical was something the pair of them should really look into.

[theshield_agent]

Phil didn't want Clint to die, either. He cared about all of his agents, but few got under his skin the way Clint did. Really, no one got that far under his skin. Natasha came close, but it was different. Or maybe it was Clint that was different. Clint had always been different to him, even if he tried to ignore it, it always came back to that. Clint was different. He was special. Phil didn't know why. He just was. It was a fact of life, the same as any other.

You didn't always get to choose who you worked with, but when it came to Clint, he would't even dream of letting another handler take him. It wasn't just that Clint listened to Phil more consistently than anyone, either. It was that Phil knew how well they worked together, how easily they could plug into each other and play off of each other. He couldn't remember ever having a better working relationship with anyone, purple crayon and all.

And then he felt Clint shaking. He started to rub Clint's back just as Clint's stomach emptied itself on his pant leg. It wasn't exactly surprising and while he'd generally prefer to not be covered in vomit, right now it was definitely preferable over being covered in Clint's blood. It wasn't as if he hadn't been covered in worse, anyway. "It's fine. They're just pants. Just focus on yourself right now. You're going to be fine in a little while. I promise."

He really did need to get Clint to medical, but he wasn't even sure if Clint could stand on his own, let alone walk. Phil could only assess so much. He'd feel a lot better if someone from medical looked Clint over and gave him the okay to take Clint back to his room. He would stay with Clint as long as he needed to to be sure that he was going to be fine.

[beenunmade]

They both seemed cut from similar cloth when it came to things. It was honestly no surprise to most people in SHIELD that Clint was loyal to Coulson. When he had first began working there, most of the time Clint ended up following after Phil. Even when he was supposed to be training with other junior agents. Back then, to him, he was above training with the other junior agents. Now it was the same, but now he could harass them all he wanted too. The one person he harassed with a light-hearted thing in his mind was Phil. Even on his worst days. Clint considered Coulson more like a friend then his boss. More like someone that would affected him profoundly. He didn't have many mentors in his life. He didn't have many people in his life. Clint had been one of those children who were tossed into the system and forgotten. Comically, he'd joined the circus.

Sometimes he wasn't all too happy he had done that. But most of the time he was.

Only because he wouldn't have been recruited by SHIELD if he had just stayed at the orphanage. If he hadn't joined the circus, trained to become the World's Greatest Marksman (and achieved such a goal). If he hadn't gone through the tragedies in his life, the almost one good thing would never have happened. The saying "once you hit rock bottom you can only go up" sprang slightly to mind when he thought about it a lot. He had at some point. When he had first been officially assigned to Phil as his agent. After their first mission that ended with a slight bickering match over the comms and a pat on the back when he achieved the goal he was set out to do. There was a look on Phil's face that day, something that brought it all together. Clint just never pointed it out to him. Out of fear...mostly.

He tried. He was currently trying to keep it all together, trying to force his body from shaking after emptying the contents of his stomach over his friend (by accident). He hadn't honestly meant it. The archer pressed his forehead against Phil's shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'll pay for the dry-cleaning. I will, I promise." He said under his breath as he stayed close to Phil. It was a small comfort really. But a small comfort was better than none at all. "If you wanna help me back to my room I can just pass out for a while...should be okay then." Clint always tried to dodge the infirmary the best he could. Even when he knew he needed to go. Even when he should go.

[theshield_agent]

From the moment Clint was recruited, Phil had regarded him as trouble. He had problems with authority and discipline and generally just seemed to do whatever he wanted. That was far from what Phil expected from a field agent. Then there was the fact that Clint skipped training and seemed to revel in following Phil around and annoying him. Slowly, but surely, the annoying started to become endearing. Clint had grown on him in a way he didn't want to admit. Still, he was dubious about how all of it would translate out in the field.

Clint didn't disappoint. For all his joking and refusals over some things, out in the field he really was the best. He could do things that no other man could come close to and he did them well. Phil almost felt pride in that right away. Dubious as he'd felt, he really had wanted Clint to succeed. Right away, they seemed to work well together and Phil allowed himself to give Clint the positive reinforcement that he'd clearly been lacking for so long. He didn't favor him too much or give him obvious extra treatment. He just told Clint when he was doing well, went a little easy on the regulations that probably shouldn't have mattered anyway. Clint did best without a lot of rules weighing him down. He wouldn't follow half of them, anyway, so why not just focus in on the important ones? Sure, they bickered and sometimes Phil wanted to punch Clint's stupid grin right off of his face, but they worked and Phil was happy with it working.

"I'd feel better if medical took a look at you, but I guess I can do it." He sighed. He really wasn't a medical professional, but he was better than nothing. "Come on. I'll stay with you." He didn't care about the dry-cleaning. It didn't matter. That wasn't what he was worried about right now. Right now, he was worried about Clint and only Clint. Everything else could wait.

[beenunmade]

It was all a level respect when it came to Clint. He respected Phil...he just showed it through all the crap he put him through. At the beginning, at the middle, and presently. The archer didn't respect (or like) a lot of people. When he was younger he had always felt as though the world had given up on him, so he had just given up on the world. It was mostly Phil who had instilled that there was still a little hope out there in the world. It was just his job to make sure that it didn't fade into the darkness. Their jobs to make sure it didn't do that. Clint had felt though his hope in the world had been sucked out the moment someone mentioned that Phil Coulson had been killed in action during the Loki fight.

When he had seen him again. Wounded, yes. But alive. His hope in the world had ignitated once again. Then again with everything that had happened since then, Clint's optimism was fading as he buried his face against Phil's finely pressed suit. He really wanted to just whine about how much his head hurt. But Clint Barton didn't whine. Unless it was to Phil because he found that socially acceptable for him. Phil was a lot of things to him. When Phil sounded like he was ready to get up and go, Clint was slowly moving to his feet. His balance was a little better but it was all affected by his concussed head and the fact...he just thought if he spent a little time with Coulson everything would be better for him. He held out his hand to help Phil to his feet, leaning against the wall just in case his balance gave way again.

"I'll try not to cuddle you this time. But I make no promises whatsoever." He forced a smile to his face as he looked down at his handler.

[theshield_agent]

Phil couldn't remember ever not being an optimist, even if he was an overly-cautious one. He saw the best in things, even when there wasn't much to see. He had to. With all the horrible things they saw in their line of work, it was what kept him sane. It was why he'd always loved the idea of Captain America so much. He was a testament to the idea that everyone could make a difference if they wanted to. Yes, he saw the best in everyone, but especially Clint, who was impossible to completely control but so good at what he did and so ready to take risks for others. Clint was an enigma from the start, but Phil had seen something in him. He'd known there was something about Clint that was special and it wasn't just his ability to shoot.

He knew that Clint tried to hold a lot in. He didn't like to be vulnerable and he held back his feelings and when he was in pain. Phil had some skill when it came to seeing through this, but he wished that he didn't have to, especially because he knew that Clint was more open with him than most others. If something happened to Phil--and it almost had--who was going to make sure that Clint took care of himself?

He stood right after Clint, hovering close. Clint still looked uneasy on his feet and Phil was going to catch him if he fell. That was just a fact. He wrapped an arm around Clint's waist, pulling the man's weight against his side. "I'll let you blame in on the concussion this time."

[beenunmade]

It was a personality of aspect that Clint loved about Phil. His optimism. Even if he didn't enjoy the sparse conversations about his hero Captain America -- Clint listened because it was fun to listen to the stories. He probably knew just as much about Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandos as Coulson did because he had spent time listening to what his handler had to say about him. Asked questions when he was bored enough to want to listen to Coulson drone on about the super soldier. Of course, he made fun of Coulson's vintage card collection. He didn't really laugh that much after he had seen the card collection ruined, covered in Phil's blood. Clint had spent the next week or so hunting down the exact same collection. It was more crisp then before. He made sure they looked exactly the same as they had before.

Down to boxing the edges around the Captain America card.

Not that he had shown Phil that collection just yet. He just hid it under his bed. His life didn't exactly make it so he believe that expressing his emotions was a good thing. Not making himself vulnerable. His occupation was just an extension of himself in that way. Snipers were never the most social people in the world. Holding back emotions and guilt were all part of the grand scheme of things because of the guilt that could come with it. It also helped him not get emotionally connected all that much. Even if the Avengers were trying. Trying to worm their ways into his world. Clint honestly didn't know how he felt about it. All he truly knew was that only one person was capable of that so far. And that was Coulson.

The fact of the matter is that Clint knew he would get by in life without Coulson, if the conversation ever struck up. But he just wouldn't...feel as much. It wasn't exactly the best thing to admit too. Clint leaned into his friend, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. "Or just say I just like it. I sleep better when you're around." Because Clint did. The sniper hadn't really thought about what he had said because, even if he was usually straight-forward with most things? This was not one of them. "You work better than sleeping pills." He figured he should add some kind of joke in there as he started walking alongside Phil.

"I'll let you take me to medical later, does that sound okay?" It was more like offering something to just give Phil something to ease up a little bit. A concussion really wasn't something to brush off. But Clint didn't really want to admit to people that, yes. Once again, he had been taken over by Loki. He didn't want to tell Phil that Loki hadn't honestly ordered him back to the SHIELD offices. He had told him to do what he wished. To work independently in his name and he did so with the intent to bring down SHIELD.

He could have been a really good bad guy if he was given the chance.

[theshield_agent]

More than talking about Captain America, Phil had just liked talking to Clint. He liked that Clint would ask him questions and want to hear what Phil had to say. Not that his excitement for the Captain wasn't strong. He was a huge fan and he loved any excuse to talk about him. Clint just tended to give him the most excuses. Most of the other agents would try to change the subject or make it into a joke. Clint listened. Clint asked questions and even listened with a straight face sometimes. It was like he wanted to hear Phil talk about it. It was nice.

The cards had been a big blow for him. Yes, they were worth money, but it was the sentimentality that hurt. It was what they represented. Fury had taken that sentimentality and used it to manipulate the Avengers and while he was glad that they had come together, he wasn't so sure that sacrificing the cards had been necessary. He could have at least left out the really rare ones. Truthfully, he'd felt a little down since he'd found out about the cards. They represented something personal to him that he couldn't recapture, even with the real Captain America being around. It just wasn't the same thing, even if Steve was just about every bit as amazing as Phil had hoped he would be. He still inspired Phil, though. Nothing could change that. He was an inspiring man.

Phil could feel heat rising on the back of his neck at Clint's words and he tightened his grip. He didn't mean it like that. He couldn't. It was just that they were friends. They trusted each other in a way that was hard-won and rare and that was just how they were. Of course Clint could relax and sleep with him around. Clint knew that Phil would protect him. It was his job. He had to know that. "It's my boring voice, right? I can tell you more about Captain Rogers than he can."

He smiled. "I'll have to wake you up every few hours, but we can wait until you've rested to go to medical as long as you promise to let me know if it gets worse." He paused. "And lend me pants." Because he was not about to sit around in pants covered in vomit and he was pretty sure that Clint wouldn't want him to, anyway.

[beenunmade]

Once they got back to Clint's emptied room, he'd have to give him the set he had collected for him. It wouldn't be the same as it had been before. The lack of sentimental value might be associated with it. After all, Fury had ruined the entire first collection to bring the Avengers together. There was a good cause to it all, but it just wasn't executed as well as it could have been in Clint's eyes. Before he had found out that Coulson was still alive. He raised Hell about the trading cards and took them back to his room. He still had those until Phil came back, then he figured that it would be more plausible for Fury or Hill to explain how they got in the condition they did otherwise Clint would have just hovered over them. He had tried to clean them off anyway that he knew how. But it didn't really work as well as he had hoped they would. Hence why he had bought an entirely new set in hopes of replicating it for his friend.

There was a lot Clint wanted to talk to Coulson about. About how Captain America really was everything he described him to be in his stories. That Clint could see why Phil had looked up to him, and sometimes caught himself fanboying over the Star Spangled Man with a Plan. Quietly, but he still did. When the sparred. When the fought side by side. When Clint was listening to Tony trying to get Steve caught up in the media part of the world. But he didn't really think it mattered to Phil, he still wanted his cards. Clint had gotten the Captain America one signed by Steve, hiding the smile on his face because he sort of imagined the happy glint in Coulson's eyes when he saw it. There was nothing really he wouldn't do for him. That was also why they worked so well together. Over the years, Clint liked hearing the feint hint of pride in Phil's voice. The subtle dry humor in his body language. The look in his eyes whenever he was pleased with something. Or displeased. Clint knew Coulson; better then a lot of people thought he actually did.

Clint being one for details wasn't usually something he was famous for. But it was one of Clint's little talents. Noticing the little things about people. He just didn't acknowledge them as much as he acknowledged the things about Phil. He knew his favorite dry-cleaner. How he liked his coffee every morning. How he had to remind him to have something to eat with his coffee every morning otherwise he wouldn't have eaten. He liked being present in fights rather than commanding from HQ. He wore Captain America boxers. Clint had seen the pair when he was being a snoop early on in his career.